So -- obviously I ain't done these in a while, and I really have no expectation that I'm going to start doing them regularly, but I happened to be going over old posts and realized it's been almost exactly a year since these teams have been ranked. Even if I'm not all that interested in how the teams are doing now, I am kinda intrigued by the inevitable compare-and-contrast to last season. With that in mind, here we go, with both this week's and last years's results:
1. San Antonio Spurs (Rank Last Year – 10, change +9) – So, last year, they were counting on the famed Rodeo Trip to jump start their season, but there were signs that it wasn’t gonna happen, and the NBA at large wasn’t too nervous. This year – they’re running away with the west and the Rodeo Trip is just business as usual. As long as Murphy’s Law doesn’t dictate that all their injuries are gonna be saved for April, I think we can safely call this a pretty good team.
2. Miami Heat (Rank Last Year – 20, change +18) – Because I’m lazy, I’m gonna quote myself (from February 10 of last year) whenever I can get away with not having to write more words -- but you’d probably have to admit, this example is fairly appropriate: “South Florida is a lovely place to work, but really, it’ll take a whole lot of free agents to fix this team. This better be one heck of a summer.” All right then. Well played, Mr. Riley, well played.
3. Boston Celtics (Rank Last Year – 8, change +5) – Last year they played possum in the second half of the year, but they don’t appear to be trying that tactic this time. At least, everybody else hopes they’re not going to get appreciably better all of a sudden in the playoffs. That just wouldn’t be fair.
4. Dallas Mavericks (Rank Last Year – 11, change +7) – Dirk is remarkably durable. Then again, he has to be.
5. Los Angeles Lakers (Rank Last Year – 2, change -3) – Everything everybody said about the Lakers last year? They’re saying it this year. Same dang team. You know, same dang team that won the championship last year. And the year before that. Sure, they could be slipping, but I’m not gonna bet against’em.
6. Chicago Bulls (Rank Last Year – 17, change +11) – Well, based on Miami’s 18-position jump in these rankings, you’d have to assume LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Mike Miller are worth 6 power rankings each. Then, based on Chicago’s 11-position rise, you’d have to assume Carlos Boozer is almost twice as valuable as any of those other free agents. That’s statistics, and everybody knows statistics don't lie.
7. Orlando Magic (Rank Last Year – 5, change -2) Seriously, Dwight Howard just makes everybody he plays with a better defender. If he and Steve Nash (you know, the guy who makes everybody he plays with better on offense) were ever on the same team, I think it might be the basketball equivalent of dividing by zero.
8. Oklahoma City Thunder (Rank Last Year – 7, change -1) – Last year, they apparently overachieved. This year? Maybe they are this good. Neat.
9. New Orleans Hornets (Rank Last Year – 19, change +10) – Huh, a reasonably healthy Chris Paul and a 10-position rise in the rankings. I’m sure these two things are entirely coincidental.
10. Atlanta Hawks (Rank Last Year – 6, change -4) – Well, Joe Johnson is on the All-Star team again, and the team is probably exactly as good as it was last year. You know, that year when they meekly bowed out of the second round of the playoffs. Yep, that is one soundly managed franchise they’ve got down there.
11. Memphis Grizzlies (Rank Last Year – 14, change +3) – They’re a good, solid team. Right now. With a couple of the important pieces of their team locked up long term. As for the other important pieces... well, maybe the new CBA has some “let’s throw a bone to the small market teams” clauses that we don’t know about yet.
12. Denver Nuggets (Rank Last Year – 4, change -8) – Man, this is how far they drop with ‘Melo in the lineup. I dig Arron Afflalo as much as the next guy, but this could be a harrowing trade deadline coming up.
13. Portland Trail Blazers (Rank Last Year – 13, change --) – So, do you think Portland fans are happy with their “Most Consistent Franchise in These Rankings” title? Sorta seems like winning Miss Congeniality – and not from participating in a beauty contest, more like as a door prize at a Sandra Bullock movie giveaway night. So yeah, maybe not so much with the hip-hip-hoorays.
14. Philadelphia 76ers (Rank Last Year – 21, change +7) – Seriously? How did these guys get all the way up here? And who told Elton Brand it was 2006?
15. Utah Jazz (Rank Last Year – 3, change -12) – I really don’t like how much the Utah Jazz’s troubles lend credence to the whole Carlos-Boozer-is-the-most-valuable-free-agent theory. That just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s hard to get around, though, it’s not like the franchise has made any other drastic changes in the last few – oh. Never mind.
16. Phoenix Suns (Rank Last Year – 9, change -7) – Pff, who needs continuity? Miami’s roster is almost completely overhauled, and they’re doing all right.
17. New York Knicks (Rank Last Year – 24, change +7) – Is it scary that the team Amare left dropped 7 positions, and the team he joined jumped 7? I mean, that Landry Fields is a gamer, but still.
18. Houston Rockets (Rank Last Year – 15, change -3) – And what I said last year has not changed a whit: “I would really like if this team made the playoffs. That said, I would really like this team to have at least one lottery pick on the roster. Tough decisions.”
19. Indiana Pacers (Rank Last Year – 23, change +4) – Who knows? A good-not-great young core, but in the East. Meh.
20. Golden State Warriors (Rank Last Year – 29, change +9) – I don’t know if they’ve gotten that much better, or if there’s just been more carnage in the standings around them. I would like Stephen Curry’s ankles to magically grow to a larger circumference than your average pipe cleaner, though.
21. Charlotte Bobcats (Rank Last Year – 16, change -5) – Again, this team hasn’t really changed. If they give maximum effort, they can win roughly half their games, and even then it’s ugly. You know, props for the effort, but Fan Appreciation Night better be a humdinger.
22. Los Angeles Clippers (Rank Last Year – 22, change --) – So, Blake Griffin is ree-dick-ulous, Eric Gordon has clearly improved, and Baron Davis even showed a pulse for a little while there. And yet, no change in the rankings. Maybe next year, Clips fans – especially all of you who were here pre-Blake.
23. Milwaukee Bucks (Rank Last Year – 18, change -5) – How many players should be traded to Phoenix strictly for the training staff? Oden? Roy? Yao? Ya gotta put Bogut on that list.
24. Detroit Pistons (Rank Last Year – 27, change +3) – In the 2005-06 season, you could refer to the Eastern Conference playoff bracket as Detroit and the 7 Dwarfs. (pause.) Sigh. (long pause.) Deep sigh.
25. New Jersey Nets (Rank Last Year – 30, change +5) – Remember, Nets fans, complaining about Brook’s declining rebounding numbers is infinitely preferable to complaining about being the laughingstock of the league. It could be so much worse.
26. Sacramento Kings (Rank Last Year – 28, change +2) – This is a young, talented team, but .... They remind me of giving a paintbrush to a chimpanzee. Sometimes you can take what you get and convince the art world it’s a masterpiece, but usually, you get something that looks like what happens when you give a paintbrush to a chimpanzee.
27. Minnesota Timberwolves (Rank Last Year – 26, change -1) – What is bizarre to me is that this is actually the plan in Minny. That’s kind of commendable, except, you know, Darko. And Rubio still lives in Spain. And Rambis really tried to use the triangle. I just... whatever. The world needs more Dadaism.
28. Washington Wizards (Rank Last Year – 25, change -3) – Holy crap, they traded Gil’s contract. I don’t care if they win another game all season, this is a successful year.
29. Toronto Raptors (Rank Last Year – 12, change -17) – Wow, that’s a big drop. I wonder why you don’t hear more people talking about this team, and what a bad idea it is to have to trade your max player for nothing more than a trade exception?
30. Cleveland Cavaliers (Rank Last Year – 1, change -30) – Oh, right.