...and a lazy new year.

So, you know, I feel the obligation to post something on a semi-regular basis, but you know, it's Christmas, and I can't be bothered coming up with brand new thoughts. I'll just give you something I've done before, from around April of 2005. I mean, it's not like anybody's gonna protest. Muah-hah.

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1. If elected pope, what would your first official act be?
I would let anybody who wants to get married -- gay, straight, interfaith, tall, short, colour blind, left handed, whatever, and most importantly (if I was pope), let the clergy get hitched. To slightly paraphrase the immortal words of Alex P. Keaton, “If God had wanted me to be celibate, he wouldn’t have made me so damn cute.”

2. How many keys do you carry around on a daily basis, and how many of them are you not sure what they’re for?
There are five keys on my key ring, one of them opens up all the doors at a job I left a year ago, and one of them opens some door on my house but I’m not sure which one, I just know it’s not the front door.

3. How much would it cost for you to pose naked?
I know I’ve seen that question before, but there are a lot of different answers. For example, I pose naked for free all the time, it’s just that I’m by myself and in front of the bathroom mirror. At Mardi Gras, it would probably only take a really good strand of beads. At a small-venue rock concert, probably in the $500-$1000 range, assuming the offer was open to my gender. For a life drawing class, assuming it was taking place in a city where nobody knew me, let’s say a hundred bucks an hour, sounds like the going rate. After that, of course, as soon as somebody wants to record the pose on some sort of reproducible medium that I don’t have control of, the price goes up considerably. As far as I know, since I’ve been old enough to know what clothes were, there are no naked pictures of me. If I’m going to break that streak, I’d want to be sure I could live pretty comfortably for a long time on the proceeds.

4. Who are your ideal dinner party guests?
Good conversationalists with good senses of humour and don’t take themselves too seriously, but also let you get a word in edgewise -- Billy Connolly, Conan O’Brien, John Stewart, Dustin Hoffman, Tina Fey, that kinda thing.

5. Who’s on your ideal Truth or Dare roster?
Every girl I’ve ever had a crush on. Every last one.

6. Do you usually pick truth or dare?
I don’t like to lie, so I usually pick dare.

7. What was the last thing you lost?
I just realized a little while ago that I can’t find a Blues Traveller CD.

8. What was your last injury?
I don’t know if it’s my last injury, but it’s the one that called attention to itself most recently -- I got whacked on the thumb playing lacrosse last year, and some days it still hurts if I open a jar wrong.

9. What would be the first thing you bought if you won a ten million dollar lottery?
The part of my house that the bank owns.

10. What would be the first thing you bought if you won a ten dollar lottery?
Probably another ticket.

11. If there was a deli sandwich named after you, what would the ingredients be?
White bread, sharp cheese, lean turkey, full to bursting and held together with toothpicks, garnished with a cherry if you’re feeling saucy.

12. Who’s the least attractive person that you still think is hot?
I really don’t know. Bjork, maybe? There was a girl in one of my classes once who wasn’t particularly much to look at but she was pretty smart, and she really grew on me as the year went on.

13. What was the last thing you fixed?
Does changing a light bulb count? How about the battery in the smoke detector? Nothing jumps immediately to mind. Wow, that’s depressing.

14. How long do you expect to stay at your current job?
Probably too long, if history is any judge.

15. How many emails do you deal with on an average day?
Around forty or fifty, I’d say.

16. Given the choice between one or the other, do you prefer to cook dinner, or clean up after?
I’d most prefer to share both -- I tend to space out when I’m working independently -- but I’d probably take cooking. I’d hate to have to start working just as someone else got to start relaxing.

17. How many months of the year are you more likely to choose shorts instead of pants?
None. I got me some scrawny legs.

18. How many songs have you downloaded in the past year?
None. I’m future illiterate.

19. What’s the title of your autobiography?
Wellll…..

20. What was your all-time best Halloween costume?
I think Jughead -- it was easy, appropriate to personality, and recognizable.